MY TETE A TETE WITH KARL MARX IN JNU CAMPUS

                                                                                                                      Ramakant Tiwari 

It was a pleasant albeit misty morning when I had an irresistible impulse to go for a stroll in JNU Campus, quite close by to the place where I dwell in. After a couple of rounds, I was fortunate to discover Karl Marx in a corner behind bushes standing upside down !! I dared to get close to him baffled and unable to figure out what he was doing there. Voila ! He was standing upside down in Sheershasana Mudra !! I rubbed my eyes to be sure what was before me only to find, my first impression was indeed my last and correct impression. After a few minutes, he reversed his posture, greeted me with a smile blended with surprise as we sat down on a ramshackle bench correctly reflecting on socialistic ideology of the era bygone and immersed ourselves in intense discussions thus –

“What are doing here Herr ? From Das Kapital to Sheershasana Mudra !! Such a historic, momentous journey without any fanfare, without band-baja ?? Unbelievable indeed !!”

“You got it partially right. In fact, I am midway. From Das Kapital to Sheershasana, then back to Das Kapital which shall be then presented before the world as Neo-Das Kapital or may be Neo-Marxism if that clicks with our gullible target audience. Fanfare and band-baja have been reserved for that historic moment only. Never say die.”

“OK. But why here in JNU Campus ? Why not a more secular place like Lodhi Gardens, named after your favourite bête noire of Sanatanis, Ibrahim Lodhi ? And why Yoga as your protégé Sitaram Yechury says, even dogs can do Yoga ? Whose image is now poised to be tarnished, your’s or Yoga’s ?”

“Sitaram Yechury is oxymoron-ic. He should have changed his name from Sitaram to something else to avoid the oxymoron-ic resemblance after mugging up Das Kapital. He often invites ridicule over his name going together with Das Kapitalism.”

“I am a little bit confused. Oxymoron-ic semblance…what’s that ?”

“He should have emulated the example set by that AAP politician, from Atishi Singh to Atishi Marlena…”

“Brilliant. Got your point.”

“Then he despathched his kids to west for higher studies instead of Leningrad or Beijing. That’s too much to condone. I am deeply disappointed by him. He destroyed the holy cause of Das Kapital in India that is Bharata, uprooted from Parliament, Bengal and Tripura. In Kerala, they are on crutches of allies. Indeed disgusting.”

“Herr, you didn’t explain, why in JNU ?”

“It’s our holiest location in the national capital raised in the name of Comrade Nehru with sagacious faculty members like Romila Thapar and permanent jewel-students like Kanhaiya Kumar and Umar Khalid. JNU’s history, vision, traditions etc. are most congenial and uplifting. You know, whenever I receive bouts of depression, I just recall holiest of the holy places like JNU and lo behold ! I am immensely invigorated. So I am here for something like rejuvenation to adrenalise myself. Path ahead is full of thorns but I am not disheartened.”

“You deserve my compliments.”

“I see that. So long as JNUs and AMUs continue to exist, future of Das Kapital is bright.”

“And if they succeed in demolishing that like Babri ruins…”

“Come on man, do you think it is that easy ? Das Kapitalites are ensconced in every nook and corner of India’s governance protecting our ‘steel frame’…”

“That’s phrase of Sardar Patel, a notorious rightist !”

“Yes, for you to comprehend better. No other steel-frame can match our’s.”

“And if this stubborn fellow Narendra Modi sacks them all lock, stock and barrel…”

“Just forget that. Our ‘steel-frame’ in Judiciary will overturn it, grant stay-orders, reserve judgements, adjourn cases so that they retire honourably with pension after Mission Accomplished.”

“How about new appointments excluding them into oblivion ?”

“Ha ha. I enjoyed your repartee. These Sanghis and saffronites are so naïve, they some how or the other, appoint our own people, sometimes even hardened Das Kapitalites and our mission goes on jolly well.”

“That’s impressive indeed.”

“Coming back to the original question…”

“I am now fully charged after this visit to JNU. I shall revive my ideology far more effectively than ever before.”

“Why do you believe a society grows only on class-conflicts and class-consciousness ?”

“Class-conflicts and class-consciousness are a fundamental reality of human nature. Class-consciousness is deeple ingrained in every capitalistic society. Even Manu’s Varna-system so easily became iconic for both, class conflicts and consciousness. Why not vulture-ise these to implant Das Kapitalism ?”

“Why are you no more invoking the term Communism any more ?”

“Communism has been by now excessively prostituted for myriad gains. In addition to class-conflicts, innovation too, is a fundamental human instinct…”
“Oh, so smart of you !”

“That’s the way. You cannot fool such a large number of people again and again with the same idiolect. Even the most potent drug is rendered ineffective after repeated use as the microbe mutates to become resistant, vaccines don’t function. Now I must move before I am identified. You have consumed my lot of time.”

“So Das Kapitalism masquerading as Keynesian Capitalism !!”

“Hmmm”
“Just one last issue please. Why are you against historic heritage, history ? Out of so many other aspects of a society, why do you target history so aggressively as your central point of ‘Bolshevik’ brain-washing ?”

“Obliteration of history, negation of ancient truths beautifully create vacuum-space in minds. That indeed, facilitates transplantation of Das Kapitalism in the space left behind. How can a tenant move into a house already occupied by another tenant refusing to vacate it ? Proletariat we create  that way.”

“You mean Herr, no other aspect paves the way towards your holy mission ?”

“Some more do to some extent but history is the centrality.”

“Why so ?”

“History is the only entity that re-visits with a big bang unless completely obliterated and destroyed. History is invariably nasty and a sworn enemy of Das Kapitalism.”

“But now here in Bharata that you call India, re-discovery and revivalism of history have been undertaken in a big way. Doesn’t that depress you Herr ?”

“Abundantly that does. These are consequences of incompetent Leftists like Sitaram Yechury and Prakash Karat. Wistfully I see a great opportunity lost due to these rookies.”
“How do you begin with your renaissance and revivalism ?”

“I have lot of hopes from the younger generation comprising of Kanhaiya Kumar, Umar Khalid etc. They are energetic and more fundamentalistic heavily relying on Das Kapitalism instead of ‘elitistic’ Communism.”

At this point Herr straightened himself, appeared rejuvenated physically, put on a cap to avoid eventual recognition and moved ahead briskly.

“Bye Herr, enjoyed the conversation. Hope to meet you again in a different mood and posture.”

And I hurried towards my destination where history textbooks are distorted, history mutilated, immersed in deep thoughts like a disheartened bourgeoisie.